Evolution

I've been thinking recently, now that most of the postpartum hormones have evened out, about my marriage. It's strange, now, seeing how things have changed. Before we had DB, I knew things would be different, but I guess I couldn't really figure out how. Its the how that is the hard part. I miss dates, evenings to just do whatever we wanted with no interruption, the ability to eat meals at the same time instead of tag-team face stuffing. I miss these things but I don't feel this "empty" that I was expecting. I wish there were romance, I wish I had the energy (or arms, since we share a family bed half the time) to snuggle The Hero more at night, I wish I had the time to fix my hair and pick out an Outfit (yes, it deserves a capital O) in the morning so I looked nice when The Hero comes home, but in reality I'm lucky to shower, much less primp, and I'm usually covered in spit, medicine, puke, and milk. Even with all this, its really cool to see how DB's arrival and difficult first months have changed our relationship, in good ways.

  There's less arguing about things that really don't matter. Maybe because we don't have the energy, or a combo of that and we have more things that DO matter to handle. There's more time laughing and talking to DB, sharing his tiny milestones for the day, and bedtime stories, so the time lost playing video games really isn't too bad. There's this incredible sense of accomplishment, even when I feel like I got nothing done for the day, because as a team we have a happy smiling baby who is currently giggling at filling up his diaper yet again.

  I know we need time for just each other, and as DB gets older that will be easier. For now I'm just pleasantly surprised. I miss my husband as I used to know him, but not like heartbreaky miss, just more nostalgic, like missing the car I had in college. I don't want it back exactly like it used to be, I'm just pleasantly surprised how our relationship is now, and I'm not stressing over what it will be like in the future, near or distant. I'm just going with the evolution.