Warning: we're going to talk about BOOBS in this post, so if that's something that gives you the heebie jeebies, maybe you should wait for a different post...or reconsider reading my stuff, because boobs have become a pretty big part of my life.
Disclaimer: Just because this post is about breastfeeding, don't assume I make judgments about formula feeding. I have many mommy friends who will tell you that I support babies being fed. Period. I think breastfeeding is the best nutritional option, but it is an option. Formula doesn't make your baby a hideous mutant. Don't write me angry letters. If you are confused, please see the first post in this blog.
When I was pregnant I was really really excited about breastfeeding our DB. I had beautiful fluffy images in my head about rocking my baby, nursing quietly while the house and neighborhood slept in the early morning hours. It was going to be such a fantastic and magical bonding experience. I did my research, like I tend to do, and I was prepared for the potential pitfalls. I learned common nursing problems, I learned solutions, I learned about breastfeeding myths and facts, I learned about babies' digestive systems and development stages. I was super prepared.
I really wasn't. I was more educated than most American moms when they deliver, but I wasn't prepared. Especially not for every problem I'd read about (with the exception of one) to hit us all within the first 3 months. The first problem actually presented itself within 10 minutes of birth. The one thing I had going for me, and still do, is my pig-headed, stubborn confidence that I was going to do this come hell or high water. That, and the support of those closest to me.
When DB was whisked away to NICU right after delivery, there went my hopes of breastfeeding within the first hour. I was disappointed but undeterred, I pumped every 1.5-2 hours and took milk to his nurses. He wasn't ready for it yet, but it went in the freezer for when he would be. On the second day we got to try nursing, I figured within the first 48 hours is better than never, right? He wasn't really on board by that point, it was a rough first week. There was no soft filter nursing and rocking, there was a lot of harshly hospital lit screaming and crying. (one of us screaming, both of us crying)
Upon returning home, it got better, but it was nowhere near my beautiful visions. We spent hours trying to get latched on and fed, but it wasn't really coming easy for us. Hard for him, painful for me, messy for both of us, nursing was a huge production! There were so many accessories needed to get anything accomplished, and I was feeling pretty deflated (emotionally) and inflated (chestically).
As DB grew, problems were solved and new problems presented themselves. We fixed the latch and fired the nipple shield. Then the projectile vomiting, then the colic. Turned out to be an oversupply and overactive let town, which also accounted for the screaming and choking at nursings (yes, still no peaceful shiny soft glow snuggle time, it was a bit more like keg stands for babies). So I started a new schedule to try and get my supply and thus my letdown under control, and things were better. Then the thrush. Oh this stuff is evil. We're still fighting that one off, but its better. Don't just wait for it to go away. Get some treatment, homeopathic or otherwise, trust me! That overlapped with the colic-turned-reflux symptoms. That's what we're currently trying to sort out. I feel like we're winning, but it hasn't been easy.
The reflux thing is no joke! Poor baby would scream like someone had just pinched him, had really nasty "wet" burps and hiccups, smelled like acid, had a stuffy nose, pulled away during feedings, was generally REALLY unhappy. Makes for pretty unhappy parents. The only problem is that a sensitivity to dairy proteins in the milk can and does mimc GERD in infants, so I had to cut out all dairy and soy products, just to fight on both fronts while we treated him with Zantac and Prevacid, to cover all our bases.
He's feeling better, I'm not sure if its from the diet change or the proper medicine combo, but for now I'm just glad that it's working, whatever it is. It's been very difficult to find foods that are safe, you'd be surprised how many things contain dairy by-products, and how many more contain soy. I did find a great resource in the blog Dairy and Soy-free Mom, she's posted some great recipes and product resources, but her blog hasn't been updated in a couple of years, so I'm hoping to continue her work, sharing what products and recipes I find that make it a little easier to do the dairy and soy free thing! For those of you who asked for the cookie recipe I've been using, it's on her blog. (I make it with whole wheat flour, that's the only difference) Don't overcook them, or move them before they've cooled enough! So I'll try and post some more recipes and resources here, I've found they're difficult to come by, and it isn't an easy diet to master.
For the record, it is getting easier. I'm enjoying our breastfeeding relationship now. It's become a time for us to snuggle and breathe in the day, even when things are getting hectic, I have to sit and relax for a while when DB starts clamoring for a snack. We have some rocking and nursing while the whole house is asleep, but its certainly not quiet, my little piglet is not a subtle eater. I'm really glad I stuck it out, but I can't help but wonder how many others in my situation didn't have the support or confidence it took. The trouble we've had have inspired me and spurred me toward making the decision to study to become an IBCLC, and try to help other mommies who might need a little support and help. Sure, its a natural process, but its not always an easy one. I told a friend who's expecting her little girl soon that just trusting your body to do its job is a fantastic start. I do think so, but when times get really tough, it doesn't hurt to have a little pig-headed stubbornness in you too.
I have been an avid breastfeeding advocate since my daughter was a few weeks old. I was not capable of advocating at her birth because I was not armed with enough information. Like you, I advocate for those who desire breastfeeding, and support those who can't or choose not to breast feed. I have one child who was supplemented with formula from days after her birth ( due largely to problems you just described) and one who never took any artificial nipple for any purpose, and I have two healthy teenagers now.
ReplyDeleteIt is my opinion that many, if not most, hospitals make it difficult to breastfeed, especially for first-time moms who are not aware of the possible pitfalls and false starts.
One of my most gratifying moments was when I assisted a young mother in learning to breastfeed her 4-day old daughter...they had come home from the hospital with bottles and formula, and though mom desperately desired to breastfeed, she was certain that it was impossible after 4 days. The hospital was non-suportive, and her husband simply hated seeing her and the baby frustrated, so he actively persuaded her to stop trying. I told her that I didn't believe a 4-day old infant had any habits carved in stone, so we worked out a plan for helping her calm down....send her husband away for some "guys" time, and relax. We discussed techniques, and the fact that she was not a horrible mother for giving the baby a bottle. She later told me she breastfed her baby girl for 20 months!
My experience with hospital personel was that they were simply not informed...they tried to scare me by saying my baby was going to dehydrate, and have serious drop in blood sugar if not fed glucose water right away. This is NOT a fact! By the time my second child was born, I was informed and I went to battle with the so-called professionals. I had my baby in the room with me ( I had to have an adult stay overnight in the room per hospital policy), I fed him day and night, and I changed his diapers...when they told me that I should "take advantage" of the "help" while I was in the hospital, I informed them that I had known what I was getting into when I planned the child, I knew what awaited me as a mom when I got home, and I was perfectly willing to sacrifice my rest to care for my baby from minute one. This was my reaction after my second C-section. What kind of tiger would I have been if I hadn't been recovering from surgery? LOL Good luck in becoming a lactation consultant, Cortney. I know you will be wonderful, and so many new mommies will benefit.
Even tho that hard headed stubbornness wasn't easy to deal with when you were a child....I admire it in you as an adult! You are an awesome mommy ♥
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